case file no. 2026-B
“Everybody lies. Especially about wanting to help.”
This project had a volunteer. The volunteer had a whole month. The month had 30 perfectly good days. The volunteer used exactly zero of them. Not one commit. Not one edit. Not even a typo fix.
Patient: Barnes Encyclopedia
Duration of care: 30 days
Commits by volunteer: 0
Edits by volunteer: 0
Pull requests: You’re hilarious
Final act: Cloned the repository, said “not interested,” left
Diagnosis: Terminal apathy with acute entitlement
Treatment: None available
Prognosis: This page is the only survivor.
The project will resume when someone who actually gives a damn shows up.